35: Owarinai
by cali-chan
Summary: Just a series of standalone stories about how I think my favorite couples will do at the end of the series. Beware the mush! Ichiban: Gindokei. [IshiHime].


**Owarinai**

_Ichiban - Gindokei_

* * *

He had fully expected that the moment Kurosaki's spiritual body crossed the portal to Soul Society would be the last time he would hear from his friends in a long, long time.

It was just common sense, really, since Kurosaki had been what had brought their little group together, after all-- Sado had such high respect for him since even before the whole Shinigami ordeal, Inoue... she basically worshipped the ground he walked on, and Ishida himself was the always-needed rival. It was obvious to Ishida that the moment Kurosaki was out of the picture, they would start to drift apart. College, work, even new friends would become convenient excuses and they would, for lack of a better word, disband.

That's why he'd been so completely surprised when, in the middle of his studying for his Biology midterm, his doorbell rang, and he came to be face to face with Inoue Orihime.

With a cheery "Kon-ban-wa-I-shi-da-ku-n!" she waltzed back into his life and he could only, as it often happened, chuckle.

Needless to say, he was baffled. He had mentally prepared himself to go back to his pre-Kurosaki life of solitude, of going from his apartment to campus and back with the occasional sidetrek to the market to get some groceries, without ever speaking to anyone... He was ready to go back to being "that four-eyed guy in the back" once again. He'd always had kind of a crush on her, but could they even be considered friends? They were thrust together due to extraordinary circumstances and one tends to bond with people in extreme situations, but after the adrenaline wore out, and they realised they had only truly known each other for like a week and they had nothing to talk about, were they really friends or was it just inertia? They had nothing in common. Nothing save Handicrafts Club, and that wasn't even a very big deal.

But still, he couldn't stop his heart from hammering his chest from the inside out as she walked in and commented on how clean everything was because, of course, Ishida-kun was a very neat person and was he studying? Because she didn't mean to interrupt, she just hadn't seen him in so long and she missed him and she wasn't about to let him stay cooped up inside his apartment forever because then how would he know if the aliens were coming in to abduct him and she didn't want him to be abducted by aliens...

He wasn't really listening. He just stood by the door (with the goofiest open-mouthed expression on his face, he was sure-- his Quincy Ancestors must've been rolling in their graves) and stared at her lips as she babbled and went to sit on the couch without ever taking a breath. Inoue Orihime. In _his_ apartment. In _his_ couch. And he was flooded with the realization that he had missed her. It defied common sense, yes... but he had _missed_ her.

Needless to say, he didn't go back to his Biology book that night.

--

She tried to visit him once a week, and he starting looking forward to her visits.

They didn't do anything out of the ordinary when she came over. Usually they'd just sit on the couch, and she would tell him about eveything that had happened lately-- usually how Arisawa-san had won another karate tournament or how funny guys acted when trying to ask her out. Sometimes she would help him study (not that he needed her help, but she wanted to feel like she was a little useful and less of a bother to him) and sometimes she would work on her own schoolwork, both in a comfortable silence.

He still remembered how bright her smile was when she came in one day and told him she'd seen Sado-kun. She'd been worried because she hadn't seen him in a while, and so when she saw him that day, and he told her he had gotten a job he really loved and that he was doing very well, she was ecstatic. She even invited Sado-kun in one of her visits (was she supposed to have the right to invite people over to _his_ place?), and that was a nice evening. Quiet, because let's face it: beside Sado-kun even Ishida seemed like a chatterbox... but it was nice.

He expected they would soon run out of things to talk about. Well, she could talk and talk and talk about anything without needing his input, but their actual conversations had to be limited to only certain topics. She often went back to the topic of Kurosaki and how he was doing in Soul Society. That just about killed the conversation, because he couldn't do anything except fix his glasses and assure her that he was probably doing ok. Causing mayhem in the Seiretei, surely. And she would smile, one of those smiles that didn't really reach her eyes, and then snap back to a different topic. He would go back to being quiet.

On his birthday she brought him a cake.

After singing happy birthday they sat down to eat (or well, she did-- the cake was chocolate and she decorated it with wasabi, so he tried to politely decline by saying he didn't like sweets much) and he just hoped his hair covered his blush. He hadn't celebrated his birthday in a long time; in fact, nobody had even acknowledged his birthday in a long time. How had she found out?

"You always do that," she said with a giggle. He had no idea what she meant, so he asked her. "Fixing your glasses? It's a-- what is it that Tatsuki-chan called it?-- a nervous twitch."

"Um, well I'm not nervous--"

She giggled again, interrupting him. "It's okay, Ishida-kun. I know it's just what you do when you don't know what to say. It's good! I think it's very... unique. No one else can look as cool when not knowing what to say as Ishida-kun!"

He sweatdropped. Out of all the things he'd been called in his life, unique certainly wasn't one of them.

They were silent for a few minutes, as Inoue finished her piece of cake and went to wash the plate. When she came back, she once again sat down beside him, and she started speaking again. "You know, we've been reading up on defense mechanisms in one of my classes. Certain attitudes people take to avoid others invading or attacking their inner selves. And I've been thinking..."

He saw that she was looking intently at her joined hands in her lap, and that's when he understood that the mood had completely changed. That's why he paid rapt attention to every word coming out of her mouth. "...Everybody goes through that, don't we? Kurosaki-kun would get louder and louder when he felt attacked, Sado-kun would grow quieter and leave, Tatsuki-chan would start hitting people, even I would start babbling non-stop. And you, Ishida-kun, you use your glasses, and tie, and your hair, and such as a barrier because you're afraid of being hurt by people."

He let her words sink in, his heartbeat drumming in his ears. How could people ever think that Inoue-san was stupid? Sure she was giggly, and tended to rant about fantasy stuff like mechas and mole-people, but clearly, she was a hidden _genius_. He'd never met someone as observant, someone who cared so much about people that she took the time to observe them and learn so _much_ about them from so _little_ they showed her. It was amazing.

"And I think that's good... I mean, it's normal, everybody has a defense mechanism, it's just part of who you are." She pushed out of her face a few strands of her long her that were bothering her, and then her hand went back to her lap. "You say one thing, but I can tell you're thinking something different. And sometimes I wish you'd tell me what's on your mind... But it's okay, because I think I know you well enough to understand you." And finally she looked up at him and smiled-- a true smile, this time-- and if he hadn't been staring at her so intently, he would've noticed that her hands, holding each other, tightened as she spoke.

"I just want you to know... that you don't ever have to be afraid around me."

He was sure that one phrase would be etched on his mind for the rest of his life. How could this be? He thought he had seen all of her depth during their time together in Soul Society, but really, he had only been swimming on the surface just as much as the people who thought she was a ditz. His heart was making so much noise, it would be a miracle if he could concentrate enough to form something resembling a coherent sentence. And his throat was so constricted, it was a miracle that any word did come out of it. "I-Inoue-san..."

That's when he knew that he loved her.

--

Too soon for his brain to process it, once a week became every other day.

Easily enough their lives became very domestic. Most of the time Inoue would cook (with him looking over her shoulder, of course, to stop her if she wanted to add red bean paste to the miso soup), and they would eat together. Then they would sit and study for a while-- she would lean against him while reading and at the beginning it would mess up his concentration, but he grew used to it. It was quite soothing, actually. Sometimes she would start humming songs under her breath (he once asked her about that day's song lyrics, but he got lost when she started talking about leprechauns, so he just never asked again) and he thought he could die happy right then and there. When it got late, he would walk her to her apartment (she didn't want to trouble him, but he insisted she shouldn't walk alone at that hour), only to be instructed to call her as soon as he got home so she could know he wasn't kidnapped by some evil supervillain.

He thought about what she'd told him that one time, he thought about it every time she smiled at him. She wanted him to open up to her, to allow himself to be a real friend; but he couldn't, not yet. He could admit to himself a lot of things, but he couldn't just wear his heart on his sleeve like that. The way he was raised... that just couldn't go away so quickly. She wasn't pushing him, not at all, but he did feel a little guilty because he wanted nothing else but to achieve that level of intimacy with her, to be even closer to her, and she was letting him, but he just couldn't let _himself_ do it. She had no problem with that-- take crawling steps, she told him (she probably meant "take baby steps," but he understood anyway): she'd started calling him "Uryuu-kun" against all his protests that he didn't like his name, and she kept insisting that he call her Orihime-chan. He compromised and they agreed he'd call her Orihime-san, but sometimes he forgot. It was worth it, though, to see her pout cutely when she reprimaded him.

One of those days he noticed she was very quiet. When he asked her what was wrong, she answered with the one phrase that could shatter his blissful existence:

"Kurosaki-kun is back in town. To visit his family."

Of course he had to come back sooner or later. When he decided to stay at Soul Society, it was because he felt the living world wasn't his place, he would always feel like a stranger around familiar faces if he stayed. His father, though, even though he was a Shinigami himself, loved too much the living world, the one where his beloved wife had lived, and didn't wish to let go of all the memories they had created together in it. Ichigo's sisters hadn't known any other type of existance save the human one, and though they knew they were different, they didn't want to leave the only life they knew to start over again in a strange place. Kon stayed behind with them, in Ichigo's body-- all of Ichigo's friends now knew the truth, but even then the ModSoul didn't go to school and he presented himself as "Kurosaki Kon" to avoid any suspicions.

Kurosaki did say he would come back. He should've sensed his reiatsu, really.

"I saw him today. He seemed very happy," she said in a chirpy tone that betrayed her true feelings. She was sad, he knew that.

"Are... are you okay? Orihime-san?" he asked her, coming a little closer to her. He didn't touch her, though. He really had no idea what to do with his arms. Should he hug her? Pat her back? That might make her feel worse, and he was feeling bad enough about her thinking about Kurosaki, he didn't want to make things worse by making her cry...

"I'm okay, Ishida-kun." That worried him more than anything, that she reverted back to addressing him by his surname. She wasn't supposed to forget.

"You know... Orihime... you don't have to smile if you don't feel like smiling. Not around me."

He could see comprehension downing in her eyes as she noticed how similar that phrase was to the one she'd told him on his birthday. Her eyes clouded with tears and she raised her feet on to the couch so she could hug her knees. "Arigatou, Uryuu-kun... and... I'm sorry. I thought I was over this... I feel really wretched for not being happy that he's happy. It's just... he didn't miss me. He never saw me. He... he just will never see me."

He hated to see her cry, because she cried for all the wrong reasons. She was being rejected and she felt she was the one acting wrong? He could run over to the Kurosaki clinic right now and punch Ichigo so hard... and how primitive that sounded, but it was such a strong pull-- just force him to love Orihime and make her happy. And then punch him again for being the one to love her and make her happy instead of him. But he couldn't think about that right now, not when the girl he loved had her face hidden in her knees and needed someone to be there for her. So before he could stop them, the words came flying out of his mouth: "There are people who see you, Orihime-san," he adjusted his glasses and made sure his hair covered his face as he mumbled. "You're very... uh... visible."

And he was aware those were the stupidest words of comfort ever spoken by a man in the whole history of mankind, but then she giggled. And if he had to say the stupidest things ever to make her happy, then heck, he would. "That's not a joke about my breasts, is it?" she laughed, through her tears. She turned her head to him and smiled.

He went so red that every drop of water in his body must've boiled within two seconds. "N-no! I-inoue-s-san, I just-- I would never-- I didn't mean--"

She laughed more and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Arigatou, Uryuu-kun. Arigatou."

It didn't take her long to fall asleep right there. He didn't have the heart to wake her up, so he took her in his arms (it took a little effort-- that one time in the Seireitei, with his adrenaline pumping and his quick speed it seemed like a breeze, but now he was very aware that she was very voluptuous and he was very skinny and not athletic at all) and took her to his bed. As he made himself comfortable in his couch he thought that it was a good idea that she'd stayed that night. He knew from experience how it felt. To be invisible, that is. And to feel sad and having no one near you to just be there for you. He knew how lonely that was. And he was glad she wouldn't be alone in her own apartment that night.

--

She started staying overnight more often.

She even started bringing a change of clothes so she could change in the mornings (he had offered her some of his clothes the first few days but of course, they were a little too... uh... _tight_ in places that... that he shouldn't really think about...). She would usually insist on going back to her place so as not to bother him (he would always let her sleep in his bed and she knew his couch couldn't be too comfortable), but he wouldn't let her-- it was really not safe for anyone to be walking through the streets at that hour.

The topic of Ishida's family and his fight with Kurotsuchi Mayuri came up one day during breakfast.

He didn't know how she had found out, but she seemed to know the majority of what had gone on. He felt a chill run down his spine; he didn't want her to know about that. He never ever wanted her to know about that. There was a reason why he sent her away that day-- just the thought of what that _monster_ did to his grandfather, to his liutenant, what he threatened to do to Orihime... it made his blood run cold. He would be the first person to know to back out of a battle in which the possibility of him winning was against all odds, but Kurotsuchi was the most disgusting... _being_ there could ever be. For all that Ishida talked about hating Shinigamis, it was always more of a competition than true hate. With Kurotsuchi, it frightened him how much he'd wanted to wipe him out of existance. It scared him how rational it had seemed to him at that moment, that he was going to kill that man and have absolutely no regrets about it. Kurotsuchi's liutenant had thought that he had missed that shot on purpose, but he hadn't. That kind of vengeful messenger was something he didn't want to be; it was not what his grandfather had taught him, and not what his grandfather would want him to be. And he didn't want her to think about him in that light. It would kill him if she knew the full extent of his rage that day.

She saw that he was shaking. "Uryuu-kun? Are you okay? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up..."

He shook his head, looking down at his bowl of cereal. "No, Orihime-san, it's okay. I just... I didn't want you to know about that."

She smiled sadly at him. "I'm sorry. I know how it feels to lose someone you love... you must miss your grandfather very much."

"I do, but it's just... You don't know about..." He raised a hand to massage his eyes. His head was hurting a lot. Just by thinking about that day, he could feel his blood pressure increase little by little. "...Can we talk about something else?"

She was about to let it go, but she looked into his averted eyes, really deeply, and thought better about it. "Uryuu-kun... did something else happen that day? Something I don't know of?"

"No. No," he replied, quickly and forcefully. He was really trying to cut the conversation short. She said she wasn't going to push him-- why couldn't she just forget about this?

"Tell me," she whispered, taking one of his hands in both of hers. "I can see that it's eating you up from the inside. I don't want you to hurt anymore. Please..."

He closed his eyes, wishing to remove his hand away from her touch, but at the same time craving to have her closer. He shook his head again. "I don't want you to see me in that image."

"Image?" she frowned, confused. He should have just shut up; now it was for sure that she would keep on asking. "What could you have done for me to have a bad image of you? Nemu-san said you fought bravely and fairly. That's all that matters."

Kurotsuchi Nemu. So that's how Orihime knew. Of course she had to be sociable and talk at least once with every person in Soul Society before crossing the portal... "You wouldn't understand, Orihime-san. You're too innocent..."

"I won't know if I understand or not if you don't tell me," she stood up and walked until she was in front of him. She then took his face in her hands and turned it towards her. He couldn't avoid her gaze anymore. He couldn't avoid her questions anymore either. "I want to see all of you, the good and the bad. I'm an adult now. I can take it. You don't have to protect me, Uryuu..."

"Yes, I do!" he exclaimed, grabbing her wrists tightly. His tone sounded almost desperate. She was so shocked by his outburst that she relinquished her hold on his face. He looked down again. "When I was a kid... I couldn't understand why my father wouldn't let me practice the arts of the Quincy. And my grandfather told me... he said that I would understand my father one day, when I found the one thing I wanted to protect. That side of me... I don't even want to remember it. And you... you suffered when people got hurt. Even our enemies. You're... you're pure. Your soul is pure. And you shouldn't be tainted by things like hate and revenge. Let's... let's just forget about that day, please..."

He couldn't look at her. He souldn't have said any of that, it was only going to make things worse. She would keep asking, and he was sure he just couldn't tell her anything else. He wasn't ready, and he felt so vulnerable. He had already said too much. But she once again exceeded his expectations.

He froze when he felt her arms go around his neck.

She had never hugged him before. Her cheek was against his, and her hair was tickling his jaw. And he could feel her chest pressed against his, and it was so amazing how a warmth enveloped his body with such a simple action from her... If before he had been craving her touch from just her holding his hand, he was sure that now, he wouldn't be able to let her go, ever again...

"Did you..." she whispered in his ear, her lips sending electric flashes through his body. He shivered, but this time it was a good shiver. "Did you find it? What you want to protect...?"

He chuckled. How could she not know? It was just like her, to be able to read like a book the full extent of his emotions, but overlook this one thing; the most important thing. So he wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her to his lap, pulling her tight and close to him. "I..." he whispered in her ear, just as softly as she had. "I thought about you... the whole time..."

She rested her head on his shoulder and he could feel her smile against his skin.

--

Soon enough, she started leaving her things in his apartment.

Somehow her textbooks had found their way to his bookshelf, her planner was on his desk (though she never used it), her favorite teddy bear that his brother had given her sat on one corner of his couch, and her shampoo was placed beside his in the shower. She had brought a spare futon and set it up in his bedroom, and they took turns sleeping on it, because she didn't want him sleeping on the couch anymore. Her friends started calling her at his place to ask for help on their classes, which meant she was giving out his number when they asked for hers. Her brother's picture had found its way to the living room table. And there were also the little notes she left him on his bedroom door whenever she would be late for dinner: _"I'll be late! Gotta stop by the library!"_ with a freckled smiley face drawn to the side as a signature.

He didn't even know when he had started buying food for two. He noticed it one day when he caught himself putting a bottle of chocolate fudge in his shopping cart-- something he never bought but Orihime loved-- and he was so shocked for a minute, that he didn't notice when she skipped up to him with a bottle of Tabasco sauce, telling him that he should try it with apples because she was sure he would love the combination.

He wasn't really sure what to think of this. He wasn't complaining, not at all; she had become such an integral part of his life... For the first time in a long time, his apartment wasn't only a place to cook, sit to study and eat, it was a home. But it scared him. They had reached such a level of closeness, but he truly felt like he had given her nothing. She wanted him to open up to her, she hadn't asked for anything else from him... and he felt that he hadn't. He couldn't.

One day, they had just come from the movie theater, celebrating that exams were over and they could stop thinking about classes for once. They had watched an action movie, and Orihime was raving about it. He thought it was quite ironic that he was probably the only guy in the world who would rather stay at home and watch a Martha Stewart special than watch a mecha movie, but Orihime loved them and he was happy to oblige because he got to hold her hand all the way to the theater.

So after they got home, they sat down in the living room, him working on a sewing project he had put on hold due to exams, and her still talking about how cool the movie was. He wasn't really paying attention to her; he was really focused on his stitching.

"Uryuu-kun, are you my boyfriend?"

His body shook so drastically that the needle almost went through his finger. There was blood, and she was immediately alarmed. She pulled him up and took him to the bathroom, and cleaned his hand and put a band-aid to stop the blood flow-- he hardly even noticed. Her question was the only thing his brain could process at the moment and the next thing he knew, he was sitting on his bed, with her right beside him. "Are you going to be okay, Uryuu-kun? I could make you some chicken soup, they say that's good for sick people..."

It took him a while to convince her that he was okay, just a little shaken (all the while his brain was going _notpropernotpropernotproper_ because they were sitting together on his bed), and inevitably, she went back to her question. "Tatsuki-chan says you're almost like my boyfriend, except you're not my boyfriend. I mean, we're always together, and we've known each other for a long time, and I don't even go back to my apartment anymore, and you hold my hand," she laced her fingers with his and his heart started beating even faster; he hadn't thought it was possible. "And you help me with my cooking but you're really nice about it, and whenever other guys ask me out I tell them no because I'd rather come here and spend time with you, and you pay for everything whenever we go see a movie. Tatsuki-chan says we act like a couple."

"You-you rejected other men... because of me?" he asked her. Actually, it came out more like a squeak. The only thing going through his brain then was _shewantsmetobeherboyfriendshewantsmetobeherboyfriend_, and he couldn't get over the shock. "I've... never... I don't think I would be a good boyfriend, Inoue-san..." he looked down at his knees, his hair covering his face.

"Mou, Uryuu-kun! It's O-ri-hi-me!" she pouted at him with her hands on her hips. "And why do you say that?"

"There are... a lot of things you don't know about me. I can't be as open as you want me to be. I'm sorry."

He thought she'd be sad, maybe run out of the room or cry, or something along those lines. She never ceased to amaze him, though; she just laughed.

"Silly Uryuu-kun! We've been living together for a while, I already know you very well!" Ishida blushed to the roots of his hair. He'd theoretically known they were indeed living together, but he had never actually put it in those words. They gave a very interesting spin to the last few months. "Besides, I agree with Tatsuki-chan: you're already my boyfriend. You just didn't know it."

She smiled brilliantly at him, like she'd just puzzled together the meaning of life, and he could only stare openmouthed at her. Did she realize that she wasn't giving him a choice? Not that it mattered to him, really. His brain had now moved onto _IhaveagirlfriendIhaveagirlfriendIhaveagirlfriend_ territory, and to pink and birds chirping and an angelical chorus singing about how Inoue Orihime was the most amazing, warm, and beautiful person he had ever known. And he couldn't believe what he'd just thought-- she was probably rubbing off on him (_Pink? Angelical chorus?_), but the truth was that he had never felt such elation, ever before. She was still looking at him, like expecting an answer and he could only bring himself to nod. No other thing to do-- he had learned early in his life that some battles you just can't win. And this one he didn't want to win, because the incentive to surrender was so appealing. No, he might overanalyze some things, but he wasn't stupid.

She threw her arms around him with a delighted "Yatta!" and her enthusiasm was so contagious, he couldn't help but laugh. As their happiness quieted down, he felt her whisper something into his ear. "About wanting you to open up to me... it's okay. There'll be time for that. I'd like to be with you... for as long as you let me..."

"That will be a long time, then..." he whispered right back, closing his eyes and basking in the feeling of holding her in his arms. "Because I wouldn't know how to live anymore, if you weren't here... I've gotten used to your presence..." It was incredible to think that after today, he could hold her anytime he wanted. She was his girlfriend. He couldn't seem to stop thinking that word-- girlfriend. It was fantastic.

She giggled and let go of him. She leaned back, holding him at arms length, and narrowed her eyes. "Oh, boyfriend of mine?" she said, eyes narrowed, in the deepest tone she could muster, which she often used when she tried to sound as solemn as he did. She was so cute, it made him laugh. He loved her so much. He motioned for her to continue.

She smiled again, her gaze growing soft. "Kiss me?"

He blinked owlishly at her, replaying her words in his head. He had been so happy about holding her, that he hadn't even thought that now, he could also k-- _kiss_ her anytime he wanted. This... this definitely had to be the best day he'd ever had!

"Uryuu-kun?"

"H-hai!"

And before his brain could start the _I'mgoingtokissherI'mgoingtokissherI'mgoingtokissher_ chant, he leaned in and touched his lips to hers.

* * *

**_O·wa·ri·na·i :_** Endless   
**_Gi·n·do·ke·i :_** Silver Watch

_Started: 05-24-06_  
_Finished: 05-30-06._


End file.
